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  • Writer's pictureLa Shana Stephens

Whole. By Yourself.

A vibe. A mindset. A noun and an adjective. Whole is not too much or not enough... it’s not bitter or mean spirited. It’s welcoming, open minded and kind. It’s showing up as is! Not just another social media “deep” meme worthy concept to refer to when describing yourself... this is a frequently used term that shares different perspectives. Since I’m all about moms, I want to share a mom perspective about being whole. Some people think being whole is the result of something... like after you meet this goal or get that degree or buy a house or get married or have children! I shared that same perspective for many years. But once you start checking boxes you realize there is always something else to reach for. Another goal, a bigger house, first kids then you want grand kids etc. a never-ending story.

Juggling what I want to do vs. what I need to do since being a teenage mother! It was exhausting! My biggest fear was not reaching my full potential, so I thought I needed more degrees, more money, more this, more that, just more! That feeling of thinking wholeness was a thing to attain vs. something I already had. It’s a lie from the pit of hell.

Since becoming more self-aware my perspective changed. I think being whole is a mindset that you’re always worthy of.... You’re born whole! With or without any of those things you’re still whole! You were born with all the ingredients God put in you for your purpose! You can’t mess it up! It's WHO YOU ARE and YOU ADD VALUE to the spaces you're in.. That’s so empowering!

Whole doesn’t mean accomplishments, career, followers, the car you drive, designer labels, entrepreneurship, money, marriage, motherhood or any other role or label... In marriage and motherhood, it can be all consuming! Wife and mother take up so much of your existence until you feel like you’re up to your eyeballs in other people’s wholeness. But it’s not a relationship status. There should be no mom guilt. Whole is not selfish... it’s not independent.

Whole is a requirement in life and it’s unapologetic...... it’s belonging to yourself... it’s growing... it’s learning... it’s healing... it’s being teachable... it’s loving wholeheartedly... it’s taking risks... it’s being happy where you are... needing nothing... it’s self-awareness... it’s accountability... it’s grace… its forgiving others... it’s living in your truth... it’s adding’s ENOUGH! You gotta bring your whole self (wherever you are in life) to any situation with confidence......It’s lit! YOU ARE WHOLE ALL BY YOURSELF.

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