Marriage is complex! A roller coaster of highs and lows. Especially when you get married in your 20s. You will change in ways neither of you could’ve ever predicted... you can literally wake up strangers... so how can you make it last? One thing for certain.... a consistent prayer life changes things! Staying connected to God will always get you through the rough patches! But here’s a few more tools and quick tips you will need in your kit! It’s more than just prayer, wisdom, understanding and plain ole communication!
You will also need:
Self Awareness- Understanding the way you are wired! We all have predictable behavior patterns. Once you become aware of them you can learn to understand from the point of view of your partner. So you gotta do what you gotta do to get to know YOU! Invest in yourself! Take the personality assessments like the assessment I offer in my coaching programs, get coached, see a therapist.. whatever it takes! I wish I would’ve known about the assessment in my teens lol! I would’ve been laced with the skills and way ahead of the game!
Personal Development- You have to be committed to personal growth and development. You owe it to yourself and to your partner to take the time to sharpen your blade! .....Often! If you never invest in yourself, improve your skills and identity you will become stuck and bitter. Have you ever been around grumpy older men and women? Miserable! Lack of personal development and the ppl around them suffer for it. It’s sad and selfish!
Emotional Intelligence- Be in touch with and in control of your emotions! Get familiar with the feelings wheel (there’s a copy of one on my Instagram @modernmommiemogul) Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert... an active or a passive style you need to do the work to build your emotional vocabulary and develop that emotional awareness. Males in particular should pay special attention to the feelings wheel since they are more likely taught to hide or ignore their emotions from a young age which carries into their adulthood! Being able to label your feelings and be more emotionally aware makes it easier to also identify other people’s feelings which is important in the development of empathy!
In a nutshell in order to have a long lasting relationship with someone else you need to be committed to working on yourself! And not in a selfish “it’s all about me" vibe! But for the greater good in your part of the unit! Developing a consistent prayer life, using wisdom and understanding, being grateful, learning communication skills, self awareness, personal development aaanndd emotional intelligence!!!! All of it! Is necessary....It’s work! You have to put feet to faith and do the work for the best results!
YOU GOT THIS!
xoxoxo-
Modernmommiemogul